Be it known that upon this day of days, the illustrious Seniors submit their last will and testament. Accept this as our final legacy to the Junior Class.
I, Harold "Be Careful" Adams, do hereby leave to Jerry "Honey" Graf, my ability to get away with everything. I hop your luck will e as good as mine.
I, Victory "Glasses" Aguilar, do hereby pass on to Ramon "Speedy" Gonzales and Carlos "Gordo" Esponosa, my poor English pronunciation. May they frustrate more teachers than I have.
I Robert "Handiman" Collins do hereby give to David "Midnight" Harabedian, my last can of Babo. Use it wisely my friend.
I, Pete "Truck Lover" Delaney, do hereby leave to Victor "Flappen Lips" Bongberg and Thomas "Struggling" Stern, my ability to stay out of the clinic. May you both be as lucky as I have been.
I, Carlos "Wise One" Garcia, do hereby leave to David " Cool One" Anderson, my hidden abilities. May you find more luck in finding them than I did.
I, Michael "Private Orderly" Hawks, do hereby will to Carl "Bra" Gardener, all the valet. May you save more money than I have.
I, Bill "Fog Horn" Kelly, do hereby leave to Peter, "Fato" Thomasset and Robert "Chinaman" Turner, my great ability to talk and laugh. May you draw more crowds than I have.
I, Neil "Panther" King, do hereby bequeath to Alan "Nosen" Rosen and Don "Kiwi" Lusk, my ability to charm the young heifers. May you improve on the technique.
I, "Frenchie" Nesson, do hereby leave to Albert "Slob" Woodward, my knack of attracting women. You’ll need it, monsier.
I, Ronald "The Temper" Porter, do hereby give to Brent "Campus Clown" Biggs, my guard duty. May you do a better job than I have.
I, Mike "Forger" Quarto, do hereby give to Carl "Nice Try" Schmidt and Tom "Exit" Hanzlik, 10 genuine, guaranteed Major Marchinton signatures and a free pocket-size map on "How to leave Campus." May you find the road I missed.
I, Rodger "Hypo" Redelings, do hereby bequeath to Tom Beetle" Beidleman, all my useless hopes of getting promoted. I’m sure you’ll have better luck.
I, Robert "Un-coordinated" Stephens, do hereby pass on to Ronald "Good Lookin" Reilly and Peter "blushing" Mist, my ability to do things wrong. May you do more wrong than I have.
I, Wilbur "Dumbo" Terrill, do hereby leave to John "Blow Hard" Stone, my ability to fly. May you never lose your altitude.
I, Ralph "Bones" Thuesen, do hereby will to Grover "Fats" Dobyns, my ability to cause trouble. May you cause Lt. Upton more trouble than I did.
I Ron "Tarzan" West, do hereby pass to Jon "Sneak a Smoke" Bergstrom and Richard "Ape Man" Nightingale, my ability to do work in English. May you have a much easier time than I’ve had.
I, Rex "Bongos" Willis do hereby leave to Richard "Smiling Jack" McNeil, my ability to scheme out of anything. May you have better scheming.
Signed, Witnessed, Sealed and Approved,